Please welcome my guest blogger, Anne Greene, who will be visiting here through next Sunday. Anne will be giving away a copy of her new novel, Marriage By Arrangement. Please remember to leave your e-mail in this format: jill (at) jilliankent (dot) com. You can enter to win a copy of the book until midnight Pacific time on March 31st. Just tell us you’re interested and if you have a question please ask. Anne loves to connect with others. The winner will be notified and posted on Monday, April 1st. Void where prohibited. Now please give Anne a warm welcome.
Anne Greene here. When I wrote my book, Masquerade Marriage,I discovered the secret to making each manuscript I write come alive to my readers. In the second book of my Scottish Marriage Series, Marriage By Arrangement, I honed that secret to a fine art.
I’m a great proponent of improving each manuscript I write. So, I’ve worked diligently to create a better book so readers will love, keep, and reread my books. My highest hope is for my readers to enter new worlds, meet fictional friends for life, and find a spiritual message to encourage and help them along through this life journey.
So I was excited when I discovered this secret.
During the writing of Masquerade Marriage, I thought I knew what being in deep point of view meant. I thought I wrote deep point of view. I knew I had to stay inside the character’s head. I lived inside the character’s skin. I showed nothing that the POV character couldn’t have seen. I showed only what the character saw, thought, and experienced in the moment.Yes, I did that. But that was not enough.While writing Marriage By Arrangement, I dove even further into deep point of view, dipping both feet into that other important realm in writing—show, don’t tell.
I discovered that in Very Deep POV, no thought or action is
told. Everything is
shown. So I couldn’t use words like
wished, hoped, thought, felt, caused, watched, knew, wondered, realized, speculated, decided.I couldn’t use wonderful verb phrases like happiness flashed through her, despair tugged at her, jealousy flattened her, love took her breath away.
I couldn’t write that she smiled with satisfaction, her skin prickled with fear, the explosion made her jump, the pollution caused her nose to itch, her heart beat fast with excitement.
No. Emotion by emotion, each has to be shown, not told. I’ll give just a few simple examples.
Which is better?
A – Happiness exploded inside her heart. Or…
B – She couldn’t keep a grin, almost the size of Texas, from her face. If her sneakers trod on the polished gym floor, she didn’t know it. Life couldn’t get any better.
A – Despair ground into her heart. Or…
B – She wilted at her desk, then dropped her forehead to her folded arms. There just wasn’t any point.
A – Hot jealousy burned a hole in her heart. Or…
B – Her face burned all the way to her ears. She hid her head inside her Journalism book. If he could date someone else, maybe she needed to show him that she could too.
A – Fury hit him like a locomotive at full speed. Or…
B – He slammed the door to her classroom behind him, tramped to where she sat, his shoes slapping the floor like bullets, and smacked a hand on her desk. This time, she wouldn’t get away with it.
All the As are telling. All the Bs are showing deep POV.
So, if you prefer the Bs to the As, never name the emotion. Let actions show the emotions. And add the thought inside the character’s head.
This type of Very Deep Point of View brings the book and characters to life. Do you already write Very Deep Point of View in your books? Do you enjoy reading Very Deep Point of View books. I’d love for you to comment.
Award winning author Anne Greene writes action-packed, historical fiction filled with heart-warming romance. You’ll fall in love with her wounded heroes and identify with her spunky heroines. Visit with her at
http://www.AnneGreeneAuthor.com. Okay everyone. Jill here again. This is a great topic to explore. Please feel free to jump in and comment or ask questions.
I discovered that in Very Deep POV, no thought or action is told. Everything is shown. So I couldn’t use words like wished, hoped, thought, felt, caused, watched, knew, wondered, realized, speculated, decided.
Excellent advice Anne! I will have to check over my WIP and see where I can tweak and improve.
eseckman at ymailmail dot com
Interesting post. Good illustrations. Thank you! I would love to win a copy of your book.
may_dayzee (at) yahoo (dot) com
Hi Elizabeth and Kay!
Thanks so much for stopping by. I’m always glad to see your smiling faces. I loved those examples that Anne uses. Makes it easy to understand,
Hi Anne,
I was looking at all your travel pictures on your website. You get around woman! Yes, I’ve been to Scotland. One of my favorite places in the world but didn’t get to spend near enough time there when I was in college. A very long time ago. I hope to get back to England and Scotland sometime and take my hubby with me.
Huum. I think I do a mix of deep pov and the other, not purposefully, of course. Guess I need to check those emotional words. Great post. I’ll throw my hat in the ring for your book. Here’s my email address: c(dot)castle(at)fuse(dot)net
Hi Catherine,
Thanks for stopping by. This writing gig is a full time learning process, isn’t it? We’ve been at this so long we should have multiple doctorate degrees by now. 🙂